Double the damage

You are the one who made the decision to get out of the relationship, then you are the baddie?

I guess people emphasized too much on those that that were 'dumped' and 'ditched' that the forgot that those that had to make THE decision had been through alot before they actually executed the final move.

When I got dumped in the past, I feel that the other party was a total bastard, a fucking jerk. Then when I ditched, or decided to let go of my first very long and very serious relationship. It got to me how hard it was for them, for me. It wasn't easy to just break someone's heart. To leave the other one somehow stranded, hanging in the air. You think it's easy?

It took me so much courage to tell him that I could not love him any longer.
To take 2years to even decide on the decision.
To actually tell him how much I have suffered being with him.
To actually give up the babies we had so that both of us could move on.
To get misunderstood that I left him for I had my heart give to someone else.
To let have everyone around get involved.

You still think its easy?




Just because I MADE it happen, doesn't mean i have a good time moving on.
I still cant let my past go.
You made such a huge impact.
I based my decisions on our past.
I have nightmares of you.

Have you got the slightest idea how much fear you've brought in my life?