I'm trying

Yes, I have cool parents, they talk like like they're friends instead of parents. They play with my friends, they joke with my boyfriend. But really, what I think is they don't care. They are just oblivious with what I'm going through. They aren't there. But, they should be, right?

I'm sick, like really sick. Flu, fever, cough and diarrhea. WHAT A COMBINATION. They know I'm sick, it's quite obvious actually. But do they really know what's wrong with me? I need help, I don't know what's wrong with me and they're not helping. I lost my job because I want to be home to eat hm cooked dinner, to better my health. An what did I get? I lost my job and everyday I come back home with no dinner on the table and medicines piling up.

I skip school but seriously I don't know what's fucking wrong with me! I want to pass, I want to get good grades and I want to be proud of myself! But, I just cant get myself to do it, I see my grades deteriorating in super speed and yet I cant bring myself to be more motivated. Sometimes I just wana sleep my life away, sleep EVERYTHING away.

I need a supportive family. And now I substitute that need with loads of happy movies of happy families, happy people. And now I'm running out of movies to watch, then where am I going to seek solace from?

I want to fade into the background...